You shouldn’t be reading this…

No…

Really…

I should be dead.

But that’s a story for another time. This is a story of a fate worse than death. It’s the story of my life, or, rather, what was once my life. You see, after cheating death – what was it? three? four times? I can’t remember, which is why that’s a story for another time… anyways, like I was saying – After cheating death, I found myself among the living dead.

No, I’m not a zombie. At least they have fun. They get to eat brains. Me? My brain is rotting away. That’s why they gave me this computer. That was their first mistake…

Then they gave me limited access to the internet. That was their second mistake…

Then they left me alone, figuring I was too old, too much of a dinosaur, to figure it out. That was their third and final mistake.

It’s also why you’re reading this right now…